Magical Girl Pretty Ruri
Episode Thirteen: Another Golem In Another Hall
By Tailkinker and Kitsy
tailkinker@home.com, kitsy@home.com
*DISCLAIMER* Warning: Java compilation error. Insufficient coffee. Due to this, none of the characters, situations and sites belong to the authors of this story. They are currently just used to explore the effects of sleep deprivation. "If not for the strange and supernatural things that continuously pop up, this could get extremely boring. Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed. Repeat as needed. Though as it stands, it's get up, go to school, come home, do homework, destroy a Golem, go to bed. "Hardly an improvement. "Maybe there's something fundamentally odd about the district." Tail Kinker and Kitsy present Magical Girl Pretty Ruri Episode Thirteen: Another Golem In Another Hall Ruri awoke to the sound of a cat killing itself laughing. She sat up and glared at the offending animal. Omoikane looked again at her kitten pajamas - tan, with light and dark brown spots, a hood with cat ears, a tail, and paws covering the hands and feet - and rolled over on his back, still laughing. "It's not my fault." She crawled out of bed and opened a dresser drawer. "Let me hear a meow!" "Laugh it up, furball." "But I hate the colours. Brown and tan spots? Why couldn't you get, oh, say, grey with black stripes?" "Baka." She grabbed a school uniform from the closet. "Oh, that's right. You're female. All tortoiseshells are female." Ruri ignored the cat and reached for the doorknob. The door flew open. "Ruri! Get up, it's time for--Oh, you are up! Oh, and I just knew those pajamas would look so cute on you!" "Mom?" "Yes, Ruri?" "...Never mind." Ruri slipped into bathroom and shut the door. Usagi blinked, then looked over at Omoikane. "Oh, you poor thing! Are you choking? Perhaps we should get you some hairball medicine." * * * * * "Ruri! Wake up!" A hand smacked Ruri's head, and she sat bolt upright. "What? What's going on? Who's being attacked?" "Morbid." Izumi shuddered. "A very morbid girl." Megumi leaned over. "Ruri, it's lunchtime." "Lunch? What happened to science class?" "You slept through it." Ruri groaned. "Did you take notes for me?" "No." "Awww, Megumi..." "Forget it. You owe me way too much already." Ruri suddenly realized that almost everyone in the class was standing around her. Staring at her. "What?" Megumi shook her head. "Come on, let's go." * * * * * The room was dark, the walls lined with shelves of books. Against one wall was a massive oaken desk with a single lantern casting feeble illumination. Genichiro flipped slowly through the book. His eyes slowly scanned the ancient text. He had succeeded his mission and gathered lots of ki, and now took this moment to indulge himself. "What are you doing?" Genichiro glanced up with some irritation, to see Mie floating above him. "I am studying Earthling culture." "Uh-huh. You are an Earthling." She glanced at the book. "Sports Illustrated, swimsuit edition? Oh, please!" "Let me guess...he wants more." "Of course. Have you ever known a man to be satisfied?" "...No." Genichiro stood. "Very well. I shall seek out the next Paragon." "He's almost finished Chapter Four. Oh, you mean the next person reaching their highest potential?" She shrugged. "Well, that scheme worked well enough last time." "Of course." Genichiro walked over to the far wall and flipped open a wooden crate. "But first..." He lifted out the massive rifle. "Oh, trying to kill Pretty Ruri?" "Actually, no. Sure, she interfered with my plans, but she was unable to prevent the flow of ki. My plan has rendered her fairly worthless. No, this is a matter of personal survival." He lifted the gun above his head and smashed it to the floor. "Ummm...you broke it." Genichiro smiled. "Why, yes. Yes, I did." * * * * * Izumi stepped into the closet and closed the door behind her. She sat down, back against the door, and hugged her knees to her chest. Darkness...darkness was good. Shut out the world... --- "You must find your center. Your balance." "I'm trying!" "Yes. Very." The old woman puffed on her pipe. "Now, look, girl, if you're going to learn our way--" "I never wanted to!" Izumi jumped down off the bamboo pole, careful to ensure that she did not land in the pool. "This was all my father's idea." The old woman chuckled. Izumi had to resist a laugh of her own; the Elder's voice sounded like a person walking over a bed of dry sticks. "Nevertheless, girl, I have been well paid to educate you. And I hate a botched job." "Great." Izumi rubbed her forehead. "A dedicated troll." -WHACK- "Watch your tongue, girl." Izumi groaned, at least partially in pain. "Look, all you've taught me so far is to meditate. And that falling in the water is bad." Izumi shuddered. "That poor girl. What's the point of it?" "It will let you concentrate better. Understand yourself better. Find that inner spark of creativity. That inner star." The old woman held up a notebook. "These poems you've written..." "You read them?" Izumi had not let the woman even see the notebook; how she'd known about it was a puzzle to her. "Yes. They are extremely well written." She turned and tossed the notebook into the spring. "No!" Izumi took a step forward, and hesitated. The old woman laughed. "If they are not worth a little sacrifice, then they couldn't have come from deep in your spirit." "You bitch!" "Well, yes, actually I do. At times. You have a powerful soul. A fighting spirit. At first, I mistook you for a warrior." Izumi rubbed a bruise. "Yes, I recall." "Back on the pole, girl. We'll plumb the depths of your soul. Or you'll die trying." --- Izumi shuddered. "I know what to write..." She stood up. "This should be an interesting haiku." * * * * * The crystal ball came to stop in fromt of the closet door. "Are you sure about this?" *ZORCH* "Ite! Okay, I get the idea. You're always right." Genichiro raised a hand, and a very tiny Batto appeared in his palm. "Carry out your instructions." The Batto chirped, and leapt straight up. It clung, upside-down, to the ceiling. Genichiro smirked. "Wow...they're making those things smaller every day." He vanished in a spray of golden fire. * * * * * Omoikane sat up, stretched, and hopped from Ruri's bedroom window to the fence in the alley. He ran quickly, hopping over gates and holes in the fence, until he reached Yurinoki Middle School. "Ruri-ruri?" He glanced around the schoolyard, looking for his mistress/ward. "I know you're around here somewhere..." Ruri was seated beneath `her' tree, stuffing herself from her bento. Omoikane hopped from the fence to the tree, then from the tree to the ground right in front of Ruri. "I guess there has to be at least one person in the district who eats like a garbage disposal fitted with a backhoe." "Baka." "Can't you say anything else?" "Can't talk. Eating." "We're going to have a Soldier Meeting this afternoon." "Can you pick a different time?" Ruri dropped her now empty bento and reached for a book. "Why?" "Remember? I got my allowance yesterday. So I can go to the ice cream shop and spend some time with Akito." "..." Ever seen a cat bigsweat? "How about after dinner?" "...Fine. I'll tell the other two." Ruri sighed. "Maybe you can finally tell me what the heck is going on around here?" "What do you mean?" "Well, I can buy Inez' justification for why I'm clumsy, hungry and tired all the time...but I keep noticing that I'm doing things...differently." "Differently? You mean like being an irresponsible, irrational, over-romantic ditz?" "Ummm...Yeah. About that." "We'll discuss that at the meeting tonight." "Oh--and an overwhelming urge to get a wisecracking cat neutered." "Gotta go tell the others." Omoikane departed the area. Quickly. Ruri blinked. "When did he learn to teleport?" She shrugged, reached into her bookbag and pulled out three chocolate bars and a bag of chips. * * * * * `Who would ever have dreamed that many bamboo poles could be so creepy?' Izumi paused, after reading the haiku, and glanced nervously around the audience. For some reason, almost everyone in the room was lying on the ground. She smiled. "It looks like my poetry has had a profound impact on these listeners." She stood up. "I must go share it with the rest of the student body!" * * * * * Ai ran up to Ruri. "We have a problem." Ruri groaned. "What is it this time? Another golem to bash?" Ai blinked. "How did you know?" "If it is a golem, something's wrong. Usually, Golems don't attack until after school. I thought that was a general rule or something." Let me explain. Maki Izumi, the rising young star of the poetry world, has apparently become our latest ki-sucking monster." Ruri shrugged. "This shouldn't be a real personality switch for her." "Yes, she's always been draining. Nevertheless, I feel that the Dark World is somehow behind this. We have to stop her." "Right." Ruri glanced around the crowded schoolyard. "First we have to find Yurika--" "Sorry I'm late." Yurika skidded to a halt, panting. "Wait--isn't that your line, Ruri?" Ruri waved a hand dismissively. "We have to find a place to transform. A place that no-one will notice us." Yurika piped up. "The library's probably empty. Nobody ever goes there." Ruri chuckled. "So much for the superior Japanese education system. Let's go!" * * * * * "Mars Warrior, Make-UP!" Yurika's body was all a-glitter, no details visible to the eye. Flames seemed to dance around her, burning the clothing off of her, then reforming itself into a short red skirt, white bodysuit, thigh-height red boots, elbow-length red gloves and a bow at the back, red and white striped. Her hair lightened, and shifted to a flame-red colour. A silver tiara, with a single red gem centered in it, appeared on her brow. The Henshin stick lengthened and curved in on itself, becoming a silver bow. "Mars Vanguard, Make-UP!" Thunder crashed, and the Henshin exploded into a stream of electricity. The lightning bolts encircled and encased Ai's body, forming into low golden boots, golden gloves, white jumpsuit and dark golden skirt. The tiara, with its topaz gem, formed on her brow, and the Henshin swelled to a golden hammer, two feet long. "Mars Guardian, Make-UP!" The light seared her eyes, all blue and gold. The air around her rippled, and she felt waves of incredible heat pounding her. Her clothes shredded and re-formed into the blue skirt, tight-fitting golden bodysuit and long blue boots and gloves. The tiara formed on her brow, and the Henshin lengthened to quarterstaff proportions. Ruri pointed a finger at Yurika. "No bad speeches this time, all right?" "Who? Me?" "Ai, where is Izumi at this time?" * * * * * Izumi was in the gymnasium/auditorium, standing on the stage. She had managed to catch two gym classes unawares, and had read her entire haiku collection. Now the students had collapsed to the floor, and she could feel the energy singing in her. The doors to the gymnasium burst open. "We are the light that shall thwart your darkness. The goodness to stand against your evil. We are your dedicated enemies." All eyes slowly turned to Ai. "What? If Yurika can get away with it..." Ruri glared at Ai. "Please don't do that again." Izumi laughed. Her head slowly turned to face the group. Pity the rest of her didn't. "You should see a chiropractor about that. I've never seen a person's head turn over two hundred degrees..." "You don't watch enough Sailor Moon. Distortion Field!" Ruri spun the staff in front of her. A glowing blue cloud formed all around her, then stabilized into a light blue sphere. "Or `The Exorcist.'" Yurika jumped up to the stage. "So you seek some exercise?" Izumi smiled. "Feel the Darkness consume you!" She raised a hand and threw a bolt of black energy at Yurika. The Soldier ducked quickly, and the bolt splattered against the wall. "Flare Arrow!" Yurika raised the bow, and pulled back the string. A flaming arrow appeared at her fingertips. She aimed at Izumi, and let it fly. The arrow passed harmlessly through the target. "Huh?" Yurika hesitated in surprise, and the next dark energy bolt caught her in the stomach. She was knocked off the stage and across the auditorium. "You too shall succumb to the Darkness." Izumi jumped down to the floor and began advancing on Ruri. Ruri almost smiled. "Oh, this is too easy..." Izumi paused. Ruri ran directly towards Izumi. Izumi smiled. "Yes, that's it...make it easier on you." The Distortion Field slammed into Izumi. The girl's body bounced off the Field, flying across the room. The Spirit inhabiting the body - a dark, malevolant shade, with glowing red eyes - passed through the Field. Ruri stepped back and pulled out her plasma pistol. `Ancient shadows dance with the world of the present inside the schoolhouse.' *ZORCH* She holstered the plasma pistol and surveyed the damage in the room. For once, it wasn't bad. "Come on, you guys. Let's get out of here. We've got a meeting tonight, and now is as good a time as any." * * * * * Genichiro frowned as the flow of ki was cut off. "Damn...Ruri must have stopped my SuperGolem. We got some ki, but..." He started to pace the library. "How is it she can defeat the SuperGolems so easily? They are an order of magnitude more powerful than even Tsukumo's OverGolems. "Next time, I shall observe the battle personally." * * * * * "Hey, you took the last pork bun!" "Too bad, Ruri! You snooze, you lose!" Ruri pouted, then flopped down on the bed. Ai was seated in front of the computer, the chair leaned back slightly so that it rested against the desk. Yurika was curled up in the beanbag chair. Omoikane hopped in through the window, and scowled at the group. "And just where am I supposed to sit?" "The floor looks nice." Ai grinned. "Your mother didn't look too enthusiastic about my being here, Ruri." "Well, she's a little..." "Yeah." Omoikane glanced at the three of them. "So why are we doing this now? I thought Ruri wanted to do the meeting after dinner." Ruri shrugged. "This way, after the meeting, I can go to the movies with Akito..." "No, you're NOT!" "Shut up, Yurika." Ai glanced over at Ruri. "Ruri, quit teasing Yurika." Yurika started to whine. "But Akito's mine!" "Yurika, quit encouraging Ruri!" Omoikane cleared his throat. Not that anyone noticed; a cat doesn't have much volume when clearing its throat. "Ruri, don't forget that when we get out of here, the REAL Akito's not gonna want anything to do with you." "Then why does he run away whenever he sees you?" "Let me explain..." "EXCUSE ME!" The girls stopped arguing and glared at Omoikane. "Thank you. Now then. Central Control has authorized me to release some information to you." "Like what information?" "Well, first off, you need to know the roles of the four Martian Soldiers." "Four?" Ruri glanced around the room. "Unless you're a lot tougher than you look, there's only three of us." "I'm just an advisor. Though in my previous life, I was a military intelligence officer in the Martian Regular Army." Ruri nodded. "A military intelligence officer. THERE's a contradiction in terms." "I handled battle management." "As well as shipboard maintenance." "Hush. I was required to work closely with a detachment of the Martian Warrior-Scouts. Three females, and one male." "Why a male?" "He was the heavy hitter. He was originally attached to an engineering platoon, but when they were wiped out, he was transferred to your detachment." Ruri nodded. "So what exactly are these `Martian Warrior- Scouts?'" "The Martian Warrior-Scouts were an elite group of warriors, trained as the first - and usually last - line of defense against trans-dimensional or trans-continuity invasions." "Trans-continuity?" "Trust me...you don't want to know. Anyway, the Martian Empire was destroyed by Golem attacks from the Dark World. This invasion was definitely within the parameters of your standard operating procedure." "In layman's terms, kitty." "It's your job. The Warrior-Scouts lost. In the process, however, they managed to seal the dimensional rift between the Dark World and our own." "So it was a technical win." Ai shook her head. "A phyrric victory. The Dark World activated a massive ki-destroying weapon that drained all life from Mars. The only reason our souls survived to re- enter the cycle was because we were on the other side of the rift." Ruri looked at Ai askance. "How exactly do you know all of this?" "Remember, I have some memories of that time. Don't ask me where I got them. Some day in the future, I expect someone to come and ask for them back." "With your luck, it'll be some old woman. Probably a shriveled-up old ghoul." Ai glared at Yurika. "With my luck, it'll be me." "Same thing." "ANYWAY, the four soldiers have been re-incarnated. And so have I." Omoikane scowled. "Although I'd really rather be humanoid..." "Well, it's better than a tree." "Thanks. I think. But the long and the short of it is, the Dark World is back. So I had to re-activate as many of the Martian Warrior-Scouts as still existed. I managed to find two; Central Control managed to find two others." He looked at Ai. "You were originally Rika, a field scientist. You were the newest member of the detachment; you had just come out of basic training, and this was your first assignment." He next glanced over to Yurika. "You were Shugotenshi--" Yurika perked up. "I know! I was the great warrior and captain!" "Uh, no. You were infantry. Your father was the Admiral of the Martian Fleet, but had disowned you when you joined the Warrior-Scouts. This to keep away suggestions of nepotism. You had taken an oath to defend the Princess with your life." "Oh, and who was the Princess?" All eyes turned to Ruri. "Ruri, you were Kasei. The Princess of Mars. Heir to the throne of the Martian Empire." "Not again..." "But you joined the Warrior-Scouts to prove that you could defend the Empire personally." He sighed. "The fourth warrior, Tuxedo Ken, I still have not identified. But you have seen him. He too was sworn to protect the Princess, and was a great swordsman and Guymelef pilot." "Guymelef?" "Mecha. With a sword." "Ah." Omoikane glanced back to Ruri. "Your role as Princess means nothing, now, since the Martian Empire no longer exists. But you were also the commander of your detachment." "Really? What was my rank?" "Lieutenant Commander." Ruri smirked. "A promotion...about time." Yurika leaned forward. "What was my rank? Tell me! Tell me!" "Ensign." "NOOOOOOOOOO---!" There was a knock at the door. "Ruri? Is everything all right in there?" "Yes, Mom." Ruri grinned evilly. "Yurika's just learning that the truth hurts." "...Okay." Omoikane continued. "Rika's rank was Lieutenant. Tuxedo Ken was a Captain, but in the Army Corps of Engineers. Equivelant rank of Commander. But he was also outside the chain of command, due to the fact that he was a specialist." "So do our oaths still hold?" Yurika glared at Ruri. "Do I still have to protect...her?" Omoikane tilted his head. "Not really. But will you?" Yurika sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. Can't really do otherwise." "Fine." Omoikane stood. "Yurika. Stand up." "Huh?" "Just one last thing. Very important. Stand up." Yurika hesitantly stood. "Now what?" "Now, I go to sleep." Omoikane jumped into the beanbag chair and curled up. * * * * * Author's Notes: Due to the number of series we tend to parody throughout writing these things, we are pleased to introduce a new section to our Author's Notes: The `Our Apologies' Section. So, without further ado: Our apologies to The Simpsons ((C) Nijisseiki Kitsune), Takahashi Rumiko, Ch'agong, Kenko, Kuno Takahashi, Our Readers, Tenkuu no Escaflowne, Andrew Lloyd Webber, the entire district of Nerima, Michael T. Richter, Ted Sheppard, and George Lucas. This will also make playing `Spot the Crossover' a little easier. :) Comments and Criticism can be sent to tailkinker@home.com or to kitsy@home.com. The story is archived at members.home.net/kitsy and at www.geocities.com/groves_ca. There is a mailing list for the story; to subscribe, send mail to tailkinker@home.com with `subscribe mgpr' in the subject heading. Ja ne!