Magical Girl Pretty Ruri
Episode Fourteen: The More Things Change
By Tailkinker and Kitsy
tailkinker@home.com, kitsy@home.com
*DISCLAIMER* Warning: Java compilation error. Insufficient coffee. Due to this, none of the characters, situations and sites belong to the authors of this story. They are currently just used to explore the effects of sleep deprivation. “With the damage to the school building from the fight yesterday, the principal has given us the day off so that repairs can be made. With the efficiency of the construction crews here in Nerima, the repairs should be done in a day. So I get some time off. Might as well spend it reviewing what I already know...Perhaps I can figure out what’s going on.” --- Tsukino Usagi stared at the television, mouth agape. “Oh, great! It’s a recap episode!” Tail Kinker and Kitsy present *Magical Girl Pretty Ruri* Episode Fourteen: The More Things Change o/~ Fighting evil by moonlight Winning love by daylight Never running from a real fight She is the one named Sailor Moon She will never turn her back on a friend She is always there to defend She is the one on whom we can depend She is the one named Sailor Moon o/~ “Ohayo, Usagi!” Makoto, Rei, Minako and Chibi-Usa piled into Usagi’s bedroom. “Time for Magical Girl Pretty Ruri!” “Aw, guys! Why do you all have to watch it in my room?” Usagi sat up on her bed and glared at the intruders. Chibi-Usa sprawled on the floor. “Your mom wants to vacuum.” “I know! Why do you think I’m here?” Minako and Makoto dropped into the beanbag chairs. Rei leaned against the doorframe. “For another thing, Usagi, there was supposed to be a Senshi meeting today. We came here for that...” “After the show!” “Fine.” Rei waved a dismissive hand. “Ami’s gonna be late anyway; she’s got homework.” Chibi-Usa looked up at her ‘mother’. “What’s a recap episode, anyway?” “It’s a filler episode. When the authors and writers draw from all the old episodes using stock footage to create one single episode. It’s usually done when the writers are extremely busy or prepping for vacation.” Rei smirked. “Actually, it’s usually done after the writers have come back from vacation, are horribly confused, and need to remind themselves what they’ve already done...” “Shut up, Rei! It’s starting...” * * * * * “San...Ni...Ichi...Banzai!” And now the basics of the why and how of Magical Girls. Ruri thought back to the explanation given by Fresange Ai on how and why they - the crew of the Nadesico - had come to be in this alternate universe. --- “Let me explain. At present, it would seem that only those who have been genetically altered and have skill with personal Bohson Jumping retain any of their memories. Furthermore, those people have increased...skills...in this reality. “Bohson Jumping, especially long Jumps in distance or time, also seems to have a bad effect on a person’s personality and memories, leading to disorientation and confusion immediately after the Jump.” --- Ruri sighed. ~Oh, yeah. That’s for sure.~ --- ‘Thirsty may you be sometimes’ Ruri blinked, the music penetrating through the haze of sleep. She sat up and shook her head in confusion. ~Since when does Omoikane wake me up with music?~ “Ruri! Breakfast! Hurry up or you’re going to be late for school!” Huh? Ruri looked around the room. This was not her quarters aboard Nadesico. The room was predominantly pink and blue. Her bunk had been replaced with a huge bed. The same fan and mobile were there, but...different. Most unusually, there was a large picture window, with the sun streaming through it into her eyes. ‘Say the magic words and you’ll get everything you need...’ Ruri reached over to the nightstand and switched off the repulsive little alarm clock/radio. ~What on earth is going on?~ --- Yurika sat down next to Ruri, and flipped open a book. The teacher left, and the class started to degenerate into what was laughingly called “self study.” Ruri turned to Yurika. “Hi.” “Hello, Ruri-type person.” “Huh?” Yurika was definitely in a daze. “You’re not really Ruri, I know. You’re just a reflection. After all, all these people are just reflections. Not the real person.” “Yurika, I’m real.” “Yep. Of course you are. Everyone is real.” “You’re not making a lot of sense.” “Of course not.” --- “Mind explaining this?” It was her astronomy test. “Ano...” “Utopia Mars Colony?” ~I must have been out of it more than I thought. Utopia Colony is on Mars, not at Lagrange Two.~ --- Usagi stepped back into the laundry room. “Ah, Ruri...about your room...” “Hai. I’ll get right to it.” “It’s already done.” “Um.” Ruri was at a loss for words. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so tidy. All the teddy bears that you normally have strewn around are put properly away...” ~Except for that Care Bear I burned.~ “...and all your manga are on the shelves where they belong.” “Ano...I haven’t read them in a week...” “Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?” “Nothing! I don’t know where she is! I just...” Ruri broke off as she realized her mother was looking at her very oddly. “...never mind.” * * * * * “Hey, Usagi! How does it feel to be the mother of an extremely cute Magical Girl?” “Shut up, you little spore.” * * * * * Of course, Ruri mused, it was not just a momentary thing. For a long time since she hit this universe, she had felt clumsy, perpetually tired, and ravenously hungry. Not at all like her. But for this, Ai had an explanation (of course...) --- “Let me explain. You are actually about four centimeters taller now than you were aboard Nadesico. Your proportions are also slightly different. Furthermore, I’ve noticed that you are thinner here - much less ‘baby fat’. It all stems from being older. Therefore, your center of balance is different. An instant change in one’s center of gravity will throw their balance off badly. Normally, people grow into this, as you were aboard Nadesico, and are only moderately clumsy during their teen years. You, on the other hand, were launched headlong into it, gaining a year’s growth literally overnight.” --- Both girls were running short on wind. Ruri was slightly in the lead. As she rounded the corner, she smacked head- first into a gentleman’s chest. She sprawled to the ground, dazed by the impact. “I’m sorry, I’m running late--” She looked up, and her eyes widened in shock. “Tenkawa-san!” “I’m sorry. Do I know you?” Tenkawa Akito, Aestivalis pilot and cook aboard the Nadesico, reached down and helped Ruri to her feet. --- “Lean...Hey, Ruri!” The book landed somewhere behind her, and a few minutes later, she was able to swallow her heart. “Klutz.” --- “You’re not the smallest cat in the world, and the edge of the furo can be slippery.” “Is that a warning, or a threat?” “Take it as you like. I have to drain the furo.” Ruri leaned over and reached for the plug. Omoikane jumped from the side of the tub to the back of Ruri’s head, dunking her. “Ack!” --- Akito grinned as he watched the two girls run off. “You know...she’d kinda be cute if she weren’t such a klutz.” --- “Your body is most likely in the middle of a growth spurt. Therefore, your metabolism is making larger demands on your body. Therefore, you will need more food and rest than normal. This would also account for your chronic tardiness at school.” --- Oh, yeah...her ‘chronic tardiness...’ --- Ruri and Megumi collapsed into their seats, panting. The teacher - Ruri realized that it was one of the mechanics from the Nadesico - glared at them. “You are exactly thirty-two point five seconds late.” Ruri rolled her eyes. --- “GOMEN!” Ruri burst through the classroom door, panting in exhaustion. Megumi was right behind her, looking just as winded. The teacher paused, and looked over to the two latecomers. “Ah, I see you have decided to grace us with your presence this morning. Please, take your seats.” “What? No bucket brigade.” “Of course not. If you are standing in the hall, you cannot gain the full benefit of this learning experience.” “Bucket brigade, PLEASE?” Megumi looked horrified. --- “Ruri! You should have left five minutes ago!” “Why didn’t my alarm clock...silly question.” “I thought you were coming up here to study.” “I *did* study!” “You were studying Sailor Moon.” * * * * * Rei glanced over at Usagi, one eye raised. “I bet you’re regretting selling the rights to publish to Takeuchi Naoko.” * * * * * “Misumaru Yurika.” “Present.” “Amano Hikaru.” “Present.” “Subaru Ryoko.” “Hi there.” “Hoshino Ruri.” Silence. “Hoshino Ruri.” *BANG* *CRUNCH* “Present!” “Also late. Go stand in the hall.” --- “I’m not always late, Ai...” “Near enough to ‘always’...” --- “Blink. Ruri?” “What is it, Yukina?” “You’re five minutes early.” “I know.” Ruri almost smiled. “It’s a nice change, isn’t it?” Yukina started looking around the room, very nervously. “What are you looking for?” “Search... Search... Search...A horseman or four...” * * * * * “You know, she’s almost as bad as you, Usagi...no...you’re still WAAAAAAY worse...” Usagi sat quietly, watching the TV intently. Rei leaned over, looking at her. “Wow. No response.” “Waiting for the commercial break...” “Uh-oh...” * * * * * “What about those enhanced skills you mentioned?” “Well, quite frankly, the three of us have gained the ability to transform into...for lack of a better term, Magical Soldier Pretty Girls...” Ai shuddered at the thought. --- “Mars Guardian, Make-UP!” The light seared Ruri’s eyes, all blue and gold. The air around her rippled, and she felt waves of incredible heat pounding her. Her clothes shredded and re-formed into the blue skirt, tight-fitting golden bodysuit and long blue boots and gloves. The tiara formed on her brow, and the Henshin lengthened to quarterstaff proportions. “Mars Soldier, Make-UP!” The light came first, blinding her momentarily. When it passed, Yurika’s body was all a-glitter, no details visible to the eye. Flames seemed to dance around her, burning the clothing off of her, then reforming itself into a short red skirt, white bodysuit, thigh-height red boots, elbow-length red gloves and the bow at the back, red and white striped. Her hair lightened, and shifted to a flame-red colour. A silver tiara, with a single red gem centered in it, appeared on her brow. The Henshin lengthened and curved in on itself, becoming a silver bow. “Mars Vanguard, Make-UP!” Thunder crashed, and the Henshin exploded into a stream of electricity. The lightning bolts encircled and encased Ai’s body, forming into low golden boots, golden gloves, white jumpsuit and dark golden skirt. The tiara, with its topaz gem, formed on her brow, and the Henshin swelled to a golden hammer, two feet long. * * * * * Cooan, nail file in hand, was watching the television, more out of boredom than any liking of the series. Rubeus entered the room behind her, and glanced at the TV over her shoulder. “Why aren’t you searching for the little rabbit?” “Oh. I was just watching this in hopes of getting some ideas.” “From what? What is this?” “It’s called Magical Girl Pretty Ruri. It’s a spoof on an anime.” “And you’re planning on getting ideas from this?” “Yeah. Just watch. They’re explaining how Magical Soldiers like the Senshi use their attacks.” * * * * * “And in these alternate forms, we have enhanced strength and agility, increased skills in hand-to-hand and armed combat, and certain...Magical Attacks.” --- “Distortion Field!” Ruri spun the staff in front of her. A glowing blue cloud formed all around her, then stabilized into a light blue sphere. She held the quarterstaff in front of her, eyes closed. A wind began to swirl around her, and her hair fluttered, drawn out to its full length. She opened her eyes, swept the staff around her and brought it to rest, pointing directly at her target. “Gravity Blast!” A black field of energy formed around the tip of the staff, then flowed down to encompass Ruri completely. It swelled outward, and exploded into a cone of black energy. “Flare Punch!” Yurika’s fist glowed a bright orange, and there was a blast of light when she hit the golem. It staggered back, seemingly dazed. “Flare Arrow!” Yurika raised her bow, and pulled back the string. A flaming arrow appeared at her fingertips. She aimed at a golem, and let it fly. “Particle Blast!” Ai swung her hammer, as though to throw it, and it blazed a bright golden. A crescent-shaped beam of energy formed, and flew across the room to slam into a golem. “Static Haze!” The ground under the target’s feet exploded upward, dust and soil rising up all around him and obscuring his vision. --- “So, while we have the disadvantages of being lost in a reality that we do not comprehend, and being forced to do battle with the minions of evil...at least we aren’t defenseless.” “About those minions of evil...” “I’ll explain about those in about five minutes.” * * * * * Usagi blinked at the announcement of the commercial, then slowly looked over to Chibi-Usa. “That’s it, you little fungus! Time to die!” “Hey! This is child abuse!” “And now a word from our sponsors...” * * * * ** * * * * “And now back to Sailor Moon.” “I’m gonna crush you, spore! Where’s the duct tape?” “Shut up, you two! The show’s starting again!” * * * * * Having all of these magical powers on its own is one thing. But unfortunately, someone in the cosmos felt that they needed to give us someone to use these powers against. I wonder who’s bright idea that was? --- Somewhere, a cat sneezed. --- Tsukumo took a step toward her. “I can see you’re going to be a major thorn in my side.” “You...but...you’re dead!” “I got better.” “...baka.” She shook her head. “A reflection, just like Megumi, and Yukina, and Akito.” “That’s hardly important.” --- Tsukumo was perched on the bar, legs crossed, sword across his lap. He surveyed the attack dispassionately, keeping an eye out for Pretty Ruri. All around him, golems milled. “Excellent harvest. This place has wonderful potential for ki.” --- The green bean lanced out and struck Tsukumo in the chest. He collapsed with a gasp of pain. Megumi screamed. “We gotta get going. The police are coming.” “But Megumi--” “The police can help her. We can’t do anything more.” “Hai.” Ruri stood and walked away from Megumi and Tsukumo. She glanced back, eyes growing wet. “He just can’t win, can he?” --- And now there’s this new guy... --- Genichiro stood, surveying the Nerima District from its highest point, atop the department store. “I know you’re out there, and I will find you.” “Squeak!” “You shut up.” --- “Yes! I got the bastard! BWAHAHAHAHAHA--” “Genichiro...” “HA-urk. Um. Yes, my Prince?” --- Genichiro sneered. “I hardly think that this girl is worth our effort. Perhaps this was a bad idea.” The crystal’s light darkened, and a small lightning bolt snapped outward. Genichiro coughed, and hoped his hair would settle down before anyone saw him... “All right. I guess the crystal is never wrong.” He turned to a Batto. “Go. Initiate the transformation.” --- At least, the enemies I have to fight tend to be mentally retarded. Baka. Though the generals themselves seem rather dim, you just can’t fault the quality of their help...usually. --- “Flare Arrow!” Yurika raised the bow, and pulled back the string. A flaming arrow appeared at her fingertips. She aimed at a golem, and let it fly. The arrow transfixed the Jovian Spider and blew it to pieces. “All right! He’s using the cheap, crummy ones!” --- Ruri raised the pistol and squeezed off a burst of fire. Tsukumo vanished from the path of fire, and reappeared off to one side. “Golems: Attack!” “Distortion Field!” Ruri spun the staff in front of her. A glowing blue cloud formed all around her, then stabilized into a light blue sphere. The golems attacked her in a swarm, but rebounded off the field, unable to penetrate it. She loosed shot after shot, but the tiny golems were far too fast and maneuverable for her to hit them. * * * * * Rubeus leaned closer to the screen. “Here, now, this looks interesting. You’ll note that the creatures these people use often resemble our Drones.” He smiled. “Perhaps you had a good idea after all, Cooen.” * * * * * The golem hunkered down on all six legs, its horn glowing red. Ruri’s eyes widened, and she quickly spun the staff in front of her. “Distortion Field!” The effect formed not a moment too soon; the beast launched a devastating beam of heat from its horn. She ducked involuntarily as the flame-wave impacted against the Distortion Field, searing her slightly even through the effect. Her hair whipped wildly in the wind caused by the heat. The flame billowed outward, buckling and melting the asphalt around the Field and blowing the car behind her down the street. * * * * * “That’s it!” Cooen looked confused. “A fire-breathing Drone? We’ve tried it.” “That’s not what I mean. I mean this Distortion Field she uses. Neither energy attacks nor physical attacks are able to pass through the barrier. I can whip up something like this! Then we can use it to ignore the Senshi’s attacks while we concentrate on catching the rabbit!” “...Right.” * * * * * And then there’s Akito...While he is a Bohson Jumper, like Yurika and Ai, he seems to lose his memory after any major Jump. And as for my feelings towards him...Back on the Nadesico, I wished very much that I’d had another chance with him. Maybe I don't love him the same way that Megumi and Yurika do, but with them around...I’ll never know, will I? But here, I was number one. --- “Tenkawa-san, can’t you remember? We served together on the Nadesico!” “...Huh? I think you have me confused with someone else.” Ruri paused, remembering. “You have problems with your memory, don’t you?” “Yeah. How--Oh, I know. I must have told you, then forgotten I’d told you. Right?” Ruri deflated. “Never mind...” She moped back to her seat and sat down. --- “Oh, Ruri, welcome home! Your friend from the Ice Cream Parlor brought Omoikane home!” Ruri winced, then looked up. Akito set down the cup of tea. “It was very kind of you to ask me in, Hoshino-san.” “Think nothing of it. More tea?” Ruri blinked. “Uh, Mom...isn’t that the good tea set?” Akito set down the cup - rather quickly. “Oh, my, you’re right! Tenkawa-kun, you may feel free to call me Usagi.” “MOM!” --- “Why don’t you?” “Why don’t I what?” “Have a boyfriend? After all, you’re cute enough.” Ruri’s face felt hot. She studied her sneakers intently. Akito walked around till he was facing her, and leaned over, smiling. “And besides, a girl with a voice as nice as yours should be able to win any guy instantly--” --- So it seems that here, at least, I’m getting everything I want after all. A real family, friends, a normal life, school, Akito... But why is the price so high? * * * * * The four Senshi in the room jumped as their communicators went off. Usagi whined, “Why does this always happen just at the good part?” She grabbed her communicator and flipped it open. Rei snorted. “Usagi, can’t you take anything seriously?” “Well sure! Mamoru, ice cream and anime...Ami! We’re all here.” “Good. I’m glad I caught you all together. We have a situation. The Dark Kingdom has launched an attack in the middle of the shopping district downtown. Looks like Cooen herself. We gotta go stop her!” “Right! We’ll get on it, oh, right after Magical Girl Pretty Ruri.” “Now, Usagi.” “I mean, we’ll get on it right now. I hate you, Rei.” * * * * * Cooen was laughing maniacally, and sent another bolt of energy into the car that was burning merrily in front of her. In the distance, she heard an explosion; probably that jewellry store she’d set on fire. “I’m gonna get that rabbit! Kill the rabbit, kill the rabbit...oh, pooh! We need her alive.” The five Senshi surveyed the destruction from the safety of a rooftop. Rei shook her head. “Let’s get in there before she can cause any more damage.” Usagi struck a stupid pose. “Why do you even bother? And what’s this? No hopeless extra to be blown to bits this time around? Why do you even bother? You should know by now that you cannot defeat us, for we are the Soldiers of Justice. We protect the weak and innocent, defend those that cannot defend themselves, and right wrongs wherever we find. For I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon, you shall be punished.” Cooen yawned. “You know, at one point, I found those speeches boring. Now, I just find them nauseating. Only a feeble mind like yours could come up with such dialogue.” She waved a hand dismissively. “Besides, it’s not you I want. It’s the rabbit.” “Get her! Nobody calls my speeches nauseating and gets away with it!” “She’s right, though.” “You shut up, Mars.” “Jupiter Lightning Smash!” Jupiter wound up an underhand swing, and let fly with a ball of lightning - and stared in disbelief as the attack ricocheted off of some invisible barrier and slammed into a nearby car. Jupiter’s jaw dropped to the ground. “No way.” “Let me try. Mars Celestial Fire Surround!” The symbols formed into triangles of fire and flew towards Cooen. Half of the projectiles splashed harmlessly off of the invisible field; the others were deflected out of the battle zone and started fires nearby. “BWAHAHAHAHAHA! You cannot harm me! I have the ultimate defense.” Sailor Moon gaped in disbelief as she watched Cooen charge Mars, her shield bouncing the Senshi into a nearby wall. “Mercury - what is that defensive field she’s using?” Mercury called up her visor and flipped open the Mercury Computer. “This isn’t good. I’ve got gravitational readings off the scale. According to my scans, she is employing an area of gravitational distortion. Matter is forced away by the gravitational effect, and energy simply wraps around it.” “Then how do we get through it?” “We’ve got two options. One, create a similar field and use the resonance between the two to counteract it. Or two, a condensed energy/matter strike. Jupiter has the right idea with her lightning, but the energy and matter aren’t tightly integrated enough. It would require something more like a charged particle cannon.” “We don’t have one!” “We’ll have to use a combinational strike. Combine the Moon Scepter Elimination with Jupiter’s Supreme Thunder Dragon. That’ll effectively form a charged particle beam.” “Got it! Jupiter, go!” “Supreme Thunder Dragon!” Jupiter summoned the contained electrical dragon and pushed it towards Sailor Moon. “Moon, your turn!” Sailor Moon held the Moon Scepter in front of her, eyes closed. A wind began to swirl around her, and her hair fluttered, drawn out to its full length. She opened her eyes, swept the Scepter around her and brought it to rest, pointing directly at Cooen. “Moon Scepter Elimination!” A black field of energy formed around the tip of the staff, then flowed down to encompass Sailor Moon completely. It swelled outward, and exploded into a cone of black energy, carrying the Supreme Thunder Dragon into the Field. The Distortion Field shimmered, crackled and sputtered out of existence. Cooen snarled. “You scorched my dress-- again!” “Who cares?” Moon raised the scepter again. “Ummm...gotta be going.” Cooen blinked out of existence. Moon lowered the Scepter and turned to Mercury. “Where did you get the idea for that combination?” Mercury sweated. “Actually, from watching Pretty Ruri...” “You watch that show too?” “Yeah. I figured the Gravity Blast could be simulated through combining those attacks...” * * * * * “Ruri! Time to turn off the TV! Just because the school is closed today is no reason to avoid homework!” “Already done, Mom.” “Okay, just checking. Dinner will be ready in an hour. I could use some help in the kitchen, since your homework is done.” Ruri clicked off the TV and wandered into the kitchen. * * * * * The people gathered around the monitor stared at it in disbelief. “What was that?” One girl was vocal in expressing her disgust. “And why the heck were they showing it instead of Gekiganger?” “I’m not totally sure. I think it might be a spinoff.” “Oh, well. Back to business as usual. We’ve got a patrol to complete. And this is supposed to be the pride of the Jovian fleet...” * * * * * “Baka.” * * * * * Author’s Notes: Originally, for the commercial break, we were gonna insert an “I Am Japanese” gag commercial, but we ran over budget. Special thanks to: Sailor Moon (Obviously), Warner Brothers, Kenko, and whoever else we may have offended in this run. Sorry for the delay in getting this one out. However, Kitsy had to move, plus it was during the middle of an impossibly hot summer. If anyone has any questions as to why exactly we wrote this episode...please watch Episode 14 of Nadesico. Plus, it was just too much fun. And if anyone asks, yes, TailKinker was whining and bellyaching about having to write Sailor Moon. Comments and Criticism can be sent to kitsy@home.com or to tailkinker@home.com. This story tends to be archived at both www.geocities.com/groves_ca and members.home.net/kitsy. Finally, there is a mailing list associated with this story. To subscribe, send mail to tailkinker@home.com with ‘subscribe MGPR’ as the subject. Ja ne!
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