Goldilocks and the Four Pilots
A Gundam Wing fanfic
By Joy Lyn
http://jyunjyun.tripod.com
Disclaimer: I don't own GW, Goldilocks & the Three Bears, or Barbara's Cheese Puffs.
Quatre was not in a good mood. For the first time ever, all five pilots would be sharing a safehouse. He wanted to get to know the others better, but because of a mission he arrived two days later than the other pilots. And now, he was freezing! While the moon lighting up the fresh snow was very pretty, IT WAS COLD! Teeth chattering, he finally made it to the ramshackle house.
Inside, everything was quiet. "Everyone must already be asleep," he thought. "I'll find something to eat, and then sit down and write a report on my last mission." So he wandered around the house until he found the kitchen.
Opening one cupboard door (the one that said "Heero" on it), Quatre found several packages in three different colors. Picking one up, he read "Dr. J's Frozen Nutrient Food, Spinach Flavor - No Need for a Freezer! The Package Will Keep the Food Frozen - Tastes Like Ice Cream!" He put it back hastily. The other packages were the same, except they were green bean and Italian sausage flavored. Quatre sweatdropped. "Italian Sausage flavored ice cream??? Anyway, this will be way too cold to eat now. I don't know how spandex boy can stand it."
The next cupboard said "Duo" on it. Inside, Quatre happily found a package of open Cheese Puffs. Grateful for normal food, he grabbed a couple and munched down. His eyes widened in shock and started watering as he lunged for the water faucet. Too hot! After gulping down some water to soothe his poor mouth while glaring at the innocent looking cheesepuffs, he went over and looked more carefully at the bag. "Barbara's All Natural Jalepeno Blue Cheese Puffs(1)" it proclaimed. "No wonder they were so hot..."
Cupboard number three read "Wufei." Quatre eyed the door dubiously before opening, wondering what odd things were inside. "It can't be worse then the other two...I hope." The first thing he saw was a big book, "The Joys of Cooking" and next to it several issues of "The Gourmet Chef" magazine. "Maybe my training should have included cooking lessons," Quatre sighed. Spying a box near the back, his eyes lit up. "There's something that looks do-able. It's just a mix, all I have to do is follow the directions on the back." Only, on closer inspection the directions proved to be in Chinese. Mournfully, he put it back. "I hope there's SOMETHING I can eat in this house."
Cupboard number four: his last chance. Throwing the cupboard door open, he found...APPLES! and were those granola bars? After carefully checking to make sure they weren't wax apples or spinach & jalepeno flavored granola bars, he ate them all gone. "Just right," he murmured contentedly. "Look on the bright side, Quatre," he told himself, "at least you're getting to know the other pilots better."
Now that he was no longer hungry, he headed back to the living room to write his report. The first chair he sat in was so hard, his butt fell asleep within seconds. "Too hard." Grumbling he moved on to the next chair and sat down. And down, and down, and down. "Argh! Too soft." After a great struggle, he managed to crawl out of The Chair That Ate Bishounen™. The third chair seemed alright at first, and he started working on his report. After a while, he felt someone staring at him. Looking around he saw (dramatic gasp) a dragon statue. Staring at him. "It's just a statue," he said, and went back to work. But he couldn't concentrate knowing that IT was staring at him. Finally he gave up and tried the fourth chair. And it was just right, and Quatre managed to finish his report.
Yawning, he put his laptop away and started looking for his bedroom. He found a door that said "Quatre" and opened it. And froze in horror. It was dirty, and there was a mouse in the middle of the floor, and worst of all...the window was broken, and IT WAS COLD. "I'll just spend the night with one of the other pilots," Quatre decided, still faint with shock.
The nearest room was Heero's. Quatre cautiously cracked opened the door, and was greeted with the sight of a gun pointed straight at him. "Omae o Koruso," intoned the spandex-clad boy. "Eeep! Too hard." Quatre quickly closed the door and headed down the hall. Had Heero been wearing...spandex footie pajamas!??
In the second room, Quatre heard someone talking, so he knocked softly and opened the door. Duo was talking in his sleep. He was all twisted up in his blankets and one of his pillows was on the floor. "Too noisy and messy," and Quatre moved on to the next room.
Quatre opened the door to the room that said "Wufei" and stood in the doorway, mesmerized by the show. Wufei was...was...*blush*... naked... and... and... *busy*. With big eyes Quatre watched as Wufei came, calling out for Nataku. Sweatdropping, Quatre closed the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to know why Wufei called out to his Gundam when he was doing *that*. (2)
Quatre stood nervously outside Trowa's door for a long time. What strange thing would greet him? Finally, he knocked and after hearing a sleepy "come in" opened the door. Trowa was in bed, under several *warm* looking blankets, with a house cat curled up at his feet. "Ano...it'stoocoldinmyroom, canisleepwithyoutrowa?" It took Trowa a few seconds to decipher that, but once he did, he smiled and nodded, and held up his covers. As Quatre snuggled up to Trowa, in the nice, warm bed, he thought "Just right," and drifted off to sleep.
~Owari~
(1) I've had Barbara's All Natural Jalepeno & Blue Cheese Puffs. They're really good, and not very hot at all; you have to eat a whole bunch before your mouth feels even a little warm. I made them hotter for the sake of the story. *gets odd looks* What? You try to find decent junk food when you're allergic to a bunch of additives & preservatives!
(2) I was assuming Wufei was calling for his wife (who called herself Nataku), but Quatre wouldn't know that at this point.
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