Magical Girl Pretty Ruri
Episode Eight
By Tailkinker and Kitsy,

   Warning:   Java compilation error.  Insufficient  coffee.
Due  to  this, none of the characters, situations and  sites
belong  to  the  authors of this story.  They are  currently
just used to explore the effects of sleep deprivation.
   “I’ve  never  gone to a normal school.  At this  rate,  I
never will.  My classmates are falling in love with whatever
males seem available - Dark Generals, Cooks, whatever  -  my
teacher  has less personality than a TRS-80, and on  top  of
everything  else,  I had to fight in Magical  Girl  form  in
front of my classmates.  And they still don’t recognize me.
   “And now it seems my mother is trying to marry me off...
   “Baka bakka.”
   Tail Kinker and Kitsy present
   Magical Girl Pretty Ruri
   Episode Eight:
   “Omoikane...damage report?”
   “Huh?”  The cat yawned and hopped off the bed.
   Ruri  blinked, slowly coming awake, and remembered  where
she  was.   There  was a flash of light and another  rolling
boom, and she jumped out of bed, grabbing her Henshin  in  a
reflex action.
   “Mars Guardian, Make-UP!”
   The  light seared her eyes, all blue and gold.   The  air
around  her  rippled, and she felt waves of incredible  heat
pounding  her.  Her clothes shredded and re-formed into  the
blue  skirt,  tight-fitting golden bodysuit  and  long  blue
boots  and  gloves.  The tiara formed on her brow,  and  the
Henshin lengthened to quarterstaff proportions.
   “Calm down, Ruri.  It’s just a thunderstorm.”
   “Huh?”   She  looked outside, and saw  the  rain  pouring
down.   “Oh.   Baka.”   She  allowed the  transformation  to
lapse, reverting back to her bedclothes.
   “Good  thing  it  woke you up...with your reliable  alarm
clock, chances are you’d end up late again.”
   “I  guess so...”  She picked up her watch and squinted at
it.  “Looks like I’m going to be late anyway.  It’s eight oh
   “AAAHHH!!! I’m gonna be late!”
   Ruri blinked.  “Hey, Mom, isn’t that my line?”
   Usagi  ran  past Ruri’s door, struggling into a  sweater.
SBye  Ruri I gotta go to work there’s taxi fare on the table
see you after school!”
   “Uh, Mom...”  Ruri stepped outside her room, to hear  the
front door slam.  She shook her head.
   “Give her a minute.”
   “ACK!”   The door opened, and Usagi ran back in.  “Sorry,
forgot  something...”  She ran upstairs and  back  into  her
   “ a skirt.”
   Omoikane   smirked.   “Or  anything  else   besides   the
   “At least it was a long sweater.”
   “Not from this angle.”
   * * * * *
   Ruri scowled at the notice posted on the school door.
   *All classes canceled today due to power failure*
   “Great.  Just marvellous.”  She sneezed.
   “Ruri!  What are you doing here!”
   Ruri  looked over at Megumi.  “I didn’t know that  school
was cancelled.  For that matter, why are you here?”
   “I  was  on  my  way  to the Ice Cream Parlor.   Houmei’s
having a half-price sale before it all melts.”
   “Why  didn’t you know about classes being cancelled?   It
was announced on the radio.”
   “Yes...and none of our radios had power.”
   Megumi  laughed, and held up her portable radio.   “Let’s
go!   Tons of ice cream to be eaten, portable entertainment,
and...”  She grinned slyly.  “Akito is there!”
   “You’ve talked me into it.”  She patted her pocket.  “Mom
gave me taxi fare, and I walked here...”
   “In the rain?”
   “I’ve  never  really  walked in the  rain  before.”   She
smiled.  “It’s a new experience for me.”
   “Passing  a test would be a new experience for you.   Why
don’t you try that?”
   “ANYWAY,  I  have a fair chunk of money that can  now  be
spent on ice cream.”
   “Gotta keep your priorities straight, eh?”
   “You  know, I bet it’s just that you don’t have the sense
to come in out of the rain...”
   * * * * *
   Ruri  and  Megumi  sat at the counter in  the  ice  cream
parlor, shivering slightly.  The storm had brought some much-
needed  cooling to the city, but for two small girls sitting
in  an  ice  cream parlor in soaking wet clothes...well,  at
least with the city blacked out, the air conditioning wasn’t
running.  Megumi had set up her radio, and though the  music
was tinny through the rather minuscule speaker, it brought a
bit of cheer to the restaurant.
   Akito  set  what looked like a flower vase  full  of  ice
cream in front of Ruri.  She eyed it suspiciously;  the dish
was  a  foot and a half tall, and six inches across  at  the
top,  the ice cream was three different colours, there  were
four kinds of nuts in layers in it, chocolate sauce, whipped
cream,  a  cherry and a small red and black bamboo-and-paper
   She looked up at Akito.  “What exactly is this?”
   “Your usual.”
   “ do you eat it?”
   Akito  laughed.  “I don’t.  It gives me cavities just  to
look  at  it.   You, on the other hand, usually just  inhale
   Ruri blushed faintly.
   Megumi handed her a spoon.  “Dig in!”
   “I need a shovel.”
   “Most  of us would agree with you.”  She turned to Akito.
“Just  a chocolate sundae for me...I’m not a glutton.”   She
smirked.  “Really, Tenkawa-san...I don’t see what you see in
   Ruri’s blush deepened.  “Megumi...that was uncalled for.”
   “I  agree.”  Akito snapped his notebook shut.  “It should
be obvious.”
   Ruri looked up in panic.
   “Oh,  really?”   Megumi leaned towards him,  resting  her
chin on her hands.  “Go on.”
   “Aheh...”    Akito   rubbed  the  back   of   his   head.
“I...ummm...Oh,  yeah!”  He reached under the  counter,  and
pulled out a pamphlet.  “This came in the mail today.   It’s
a contest.”
   “The pamphlet is a contest?”
   “No!  The TV station is running a talent search.  They’re
looking for voice actresses for a new anime, and Hayashibara
Megumi’s busy.  I thought you two might be interested.”
   Ruri blinked.  “Why us?”
   “Well, you sing very well.”  He shrugged.  “You both have
great voices.”
   Ruri’s blush was not going away.  ~I just can’t win...~
   “And  besides, Houmei wants me to tell all the girls that
come in.”
   “Okay.”  Megumi nudged Ruri.  “Let’s go for it!  It’ll be
fun.  Just like the karaoke!”
   That made up her mind.  “No thank you.”
   “Ruri!”   The  door burst open, and Yurika stumbled  into
the restaurant, panting.  “I really need your help!”
   Ruri glanced over at Yurika.  The other girl was dripping
wet, and gasping for breath.  Ruri put a hand in her pocket,
grabbing the Kasei no Henshin, and ran outside.
   “Where are you going?”
   Ruri paused.  “I thought...”
   “I really need your help!  Please?”
   It  dawned upon Ruri that it was nothing so simple  as  a
golem attack.  “All right, what do you need my help with?”
   “Well,  there’s  this big talent contest  going  on,  and
they’re looking for voice actresses...”
   “Oh, no...”
   “You’ve already heard of it?”
   “Sadly, yes.”  She sat back down at the counter.
   “Well,  I  need your help to get ready for it.   Besides,
you’re a good singer.”
   Megumi  leaned  over.  “Just ask Akito!  He’s  heard  her
   Yurika’s  demeanour  turned  frosty.   “Oh,  yes,  that’s
right.   Never mind...I can get by without your help.”   She
turned and stormed off to another corner of the restaurant.
   Megumi  smirked.   “She’s gonna  kick  herself  when  she
realizes Akito was standing just behind us...”
   Ruri almost smiled.  “And she didn’t even see him.”
   * * * * *
   Tsukumo  signed  the  form and  handed  it  back  to  the
secretary.  He sighed.  When he had conceived this plan,  he
had  not  foreseen  the tremendous amount of  paperwork  and
drudgery  needed to keep it afloat.  But it  was  absolutely
necessary, and so far was running smoothly.
   “Our  master  is  not pleased, Tsukumo.”   Genichiro  had
stepped out of the shadows and was blocking Tsukumo’s  path.
“Our energy reserves are low, and the rate at which you  are
using up Golems is proving...troublesome.”
   “I  was  told  by  Prince  Akara  that  I  was  to  cease
collecting ki until Pretty Ruri was eliminated.”
   “You  have failed to eliminate her!  If we do not collect
some ki soon, we will lose the ability to strike across  the
   Tsukumo  scowled  at  Genichiro.   “And  if  we  start  a
harvesting  operation, and lose the OverGolem to  Ruri?   We
are no further ahead than if we had simply attempted to kill
her.  And all of our attempts to kill her have failed.   You
have  not  discovered where we can catch her unprepared,  so
all I can do is stake out bait.”
   “Your   tone   is...less  than  subservient.    We   have
insufficient  ki  to make more than one  more  attack.   You
*must*  succeed on a ki-gathering mission.  Only after  that
can we spare the energy to attack Pretty Ruri.”
   Tsukumo was snapped out of his reverie by the door of his
“office”  opening.  He looked up, to see three  young  girls
walking in.  He noted that one of them was the girl  he  had
earlier  mistaken for Pretty Ruri.  The other two he  didn’t
   “Wow!   You’re  the photographer for the Gleaner,  right?
You work for the television company as well?”
   Tsukumo  recovered quickly, and thanked the Kami that  he
was dressed in a manner similar to the previous day.  “Well,
yes.  TV Tokyo and Xebec hired me for my scouting abilities.
The  Gleaner manager didn’t mind, he just told me  that  I’d
better  get some good prints of the event.  Now then, you’re
here for the contest, right?”
   Ruri  was nervous;  if Tsukumo was organizing this thing,
it  was  going  to  be  a  ki-stealing  and  Golem  smashing
extravaganza.  Yurika looked equally concerned.   She  poked
   “Umm...I’m not so sure that this is a good idea, Ruri.”
   Tsukumo looked up in shock.  ~Ruri?~
   ~Baka.  How to defuse this...~  Ruri smacked Yurika.
   “But I’ve been waiting all day to come here!  This is  my
big chance - my big break to actually be someone!”
   Megumi blinked.  “ you have a fever?”
   “But I always wanted to be a voice actress!  I could  get
a  role,  like the computer operator on a space  battleship.
Like Sammy Porter in Macross.”
   Yurika twitched.  “No.  I couldn’t see it.”
   Tsukumo  deflated somewhat.  ~This can’t be her.  Magical
Girl Pretty Ruri is...competent.~
   Megumi  looked  at her oddly.  “Space battleship?   Ruri,
you  have yet to pass an astronomy test, or successfully use
any computer except your game boy.  And you want to be on  a
   “Oh,  come on!  Who cares about that?  You don’t need  an
education to be a voice actress!”  ~Damn, it’s less  fun  to
tease her when she has no idea what I mean...~
   Yurika  was looking at her oddly.  “Ruri...I think  maybe
you’re overreacting a, make that a lot.”
   “But  everyone  knows that a voice actress  has  to  show
   “Not with MY Akito, you little tramp!”
   Ruri  bounded  up  to  the desk  and  leaned  across  it.
“Hello, sir!  Can I apply for the tryouts as well?  We  were
told  to  come  here to collect our numbers  and  our  mini-
scripts!  Wow, you’re really cool!  Are you the judge?”
   Megumi  sweated.  She turned to Yurika.  “Now I know  how
you feel!”
   Yurika nodded.  “The minx.”
   “Ruri,  leave Tsukumo alone!  You have Akito.   Tsukumo’s
mine!”  She paused, and though about where she had just said
that.  “I mean...”
   Tsukumo was sweating.  ~And this was supposed to be  just
a quick and easy ki grab...~
   * * * * *
   “Ruri...are you serious about all this?”
   “Then why are you...”
   “Do  you  think  I  want him knowing what  I  look  like?
Thanks to you and that big mouth of yours...”
   “Oh, so that was just an act?”
   “Well, these are voice tryouts, right?”
   “Very funny.”
   Ruri  smirked.   She  just knew that Tsukumo  was  up  to
something .  And this way, she’d be able to find out what it
   Megumi  finished her song and set the microphone  in  its
stand.  She walked over to the other two girls.
   “Wow, that really took a lot out of me.”
   Ruri’s eyes narrowed.  “Like you’re low on energy?”
   “Yeah.  I guess ice cream isn’t the best breakfast food.”
   Yurika stifled a giggle.
   “Number three-forty-three.”
   Megumi nudged Ruri.  “That would be you.”
   “Wow,  this  thing  must  have been  going  on  forever.”
Yurika looked around the room.  There were several girls  in
seats  around the audition stage, perhaps sixty or  so,  but
all  of  them  seemed  to be asleep.  She  glanced  over  at
Megumi, and realized that the other girl was also asleep.
   “Umm...Yurika...let’s go get changed.”
   “I  thought  this  was  a voice part.   Why  do  we  need
costumes?  Oh.”
   Ruri grabbed Yurika and dragged her out the back door.
   “Oh,  it  looks  like  three-forty-three  is  giving  up.
Number three-forty-four.”
   * * * * *
   “Mars Guardian, Make-UP!”
   “Mars Warrior, Make-UP!”
   The light seared Ruri’s eyes, all blue and gold.  The air
around  her  rippled, and she felt waves of incredible  heat
pounding  her.  Her clothes shredded and re-formed into  the
blue  skirt,  tight-fitting golden bodysuit  and  long  blue
boots  and  gloves.  The tiara formed on her brow,  and  the
Henshin lengthened to quarterstaff proportions.
   Yurika’s  body was all a-glitter, no details  visible  to
the  eye.   Flames seemed to dance around her,  burning  the
clothing off of her, then reforming itself into a short  red
skirt,  white bodysuit, thigh-height red boots, elbow-length
red  gloves and the bow at the back, red and white  striped.
Her  hair  lightened, and shifted to a flame-red colour.   A
silver tiara, with a single red gem centered in it, appeared
on  her  brow.   The  Henshin lengthened and  curved  in  on
itself, becoming a silver bow.
   * * * * *
   Tsukumo leaned back in his director’s chair and scribbled
notes in his folder.  “Not bad.  Not bad at all.”
   The  assistant  leaned over to him.   “Are  you  kidding?
She’s the worst yet.”
   Tsukumo  spoke quietly.  “Do you expect me  to  tell  her
that  to her face?  What, do you think I’m going to  say  to
her,  ‘Please  clear the stage, and hopefully the  seventeen
dogs you called will go with you?’  Sorry.  My life is worth
more to me than that.”
   “Hey, better you than me.”
   “That’s the attitude!”  Tsukumo made a vague gesture with
his free hand.  “Next.”
   The  lights  flashed,  angling  above  the  stage.   “For
preying  on  the dreams and hopes of all these young  girls,
for stealing their energy under the guise of...of...of...”
   “Damn.  Give me a second.  Oh, yeah!  Under the guise  of
a new life and a new beginning as an actress and a star, you
shall be punished!”
   The  floodlight snapped on, highlighting  Yurika  on  the
stage.   Yurika threw her hand forward, two fingers  raised.
   The  assistant flipped through his notes.  “Not bad,  but
the  Magical Girl auditions are three doors down  the  hall.
And costume is optional.”
   Tsukumo  pulled  out his cell phone.   “Is  the  transfer
complete?  Good.  I need you here.”  He snapped it shut, and
made a vague gesture with his free hand.  “Next.”
   “Next?!”   Yurika  stared at him.   “What  do  you  mean,
next!?!  We’re here to stop your evil plan!”
   “Okay, fine.  Next, please.”
   “Are you serious?”
   “No.   If  I  was serious, there would be  some  sort  of
explosion, and a monster would jump out of the sound booth.”
   “Kind of like that.”
   The  Golem  landed in front of Yurika.  It had four  legs
and  two arms, and an angular head with some sort of nozzle-
like protrubence.  It was covered in red and green fur.
   “Flare  Arrow!”  Yurika raised the bow, and  pulled  back
the  string.   A  flaming arrow appeared at her  fingertips.
She aimed at the Golem, and let it fly.
   The  Golem raised its head and spat out a gob of  thread.
The gob intercepted the arrow, destroying both.
   “Oh, that’s not good.”
   “No,  actually it’s great.”  Tsukumo leaned over  to  the
assistant.  “Are you getting all of this?”
   “Just  don’t break the camera!  It’s a rental;  I’d  lose
my deposit.”
   “Flare Punch!”  Yurika’s fist glowed a bright orange, and
there  was  a  blast of light when she hit  the  golem.   It
staggered  back, seemingly dazed, then spat another  wad  of
thread  at her.  It exploded outward on impact, pasting  her
to  the back wall.  The Golem lost no time in applying  more
webbing, doing its best to cocoon Yurika.
   “Well,  that  didn’t take long.”  Tsukumo  stood  up  and
walked  over  to  Yurika.  “In fact, it was  altogether  too
easy.   Now  what I want to know is, where is your  partner?
Where is Magical Girl Pretty Ruri?”
   “Right behind you.”
   Tsukumo  whirled,  to  see  Pretty  Ruri,  plasma  pistol
trained steadily on him.
   “You know, that might not be the best place to stand.”
   “Well, the golem behind you has a nice clear shot at you.
But I’m worried that the blast might get my suit dirty.”
   “Your  OverGolem  is  right  there,  holding  my  partner
prisoner.  And a lesser golem cannot penetrate my Distortion
   “Ah, yes.  You’re quite right.  That’s why I brought  two
   “Oh, great.”
   “Ruri, do you never think to check your six?”
   “What do I look like, a pilot?”
   Tsukumo laughed.  “What a marvellous day!  A full load of
ki already sent to the Dark World--”
   “The  Dark  World?  Weren’t they the bad guys  in  Sailor
   “Dark *World*!  Not Dark Kingdom!  And certainly not  the
   “Same thing.”
   “Well, at any rate, the Master will be pleased, now  that
I’ve captured both of you.”
   “I  don’t see why.”  The assistant shook his head.   “The
Board of Directors already has enough Magical Girl series.”
   “Baka.”   Tsukumo  waved towards the OverGolems.   “Bring
them here.”
   The  Golems picked up the girls and dropped them in front
of  Tsukumo.   He  stepped forward and  reached  for  Ruri’s
   “Once  I  remove  this, I’ll know  for  certain  who  you
   “Blazing  Slash!”  The massive sword glowed a  dull  red,
and  as Tuxedo Ken swung it, it left a trail of fire in  the
air.   It  cut effortlessly through the silk that imprisoned
the girls.
   “Ite!  Ite!  Ite!  Hot!  Hot!”
   “Would you rather be tied up again?”
   Tuxedo  Ken  landed  lightly in  front  of  Tsukumo.   He
snapped  around in a brutal circle kick, knocking  the  Dark
General  across the room.  He turned to Ruri.   “Finish  the
   Ruri  held the quarterstaff in front of her, eyes closed.
A  wind  began to swirl around her, and her hair  fluttered,
drawn  out  to its full length.  She opened her eyes,  swept
the  staff  around  her  and brought it  to  rest,  pointing
directly at the two.
   “Gravity Blast!”
   A  black  field of energy formed around the  tip  of  the
staff,  then  flowed down to encompass Ruri completely.   It
swelled outward, and exploded into a cone of black energy.
   Tsukumo  staggered  to his feet.   “Well,  I  managed  to
complete my mission, at least.”  He smirked, and faded out.
   “What did he mean?”
   Tuxedo Ken looked around the room.  “He managed to  drain
almost  three hundred people before you got here.  He didn’t
drain  them for too much;  most of them seem to have  simply
left  under  their own power.  But this was a major  victory
for the Dark World.”
   “Damn.”  Ruri sighed.  “I should have acted the instant I
knew he was here.”
   “But  you  couldn’t, Ruri.”  Yurika set  a  hand  on  her
shoulder.   “You  didn’t know what was  going  on,  and  you
couldn’t blow your cover.”
   “No.”   Ruri scowled at Yurika.  “That’s what I have  you
   * * * * *
   Yurika  dropped into the beanbag chair.  Ruri  stared  at
   “That’s my chair.”
   “So  sit  on the bed.  Or that cute little pink chair  by
the computer.”
   Ruri sat on the bed.  “What a day.”
   The  phone  next  to the computer rang.   Minutes  later,
Usagi knocked on the door.
   “Ruri?  Megumi just called.  Apparently, the studio liked
her  audition.   Her parents are taking her out  for  dinner
tonight, and she wants you to call her later.  She says  she
got a part-time job!”
   “Ummm...thanks,  Mom.”   Ruri  winced.   “I  wonder   how
disappointed she’ll be when she learns that Tsukumo  doesn’t
work there?”
   “What  I  want to know, is why the TV station  had  power
when the rest of Nerima didn’t.”
   “You  think they don’t have their own generators?   Also,
in all likelihood, it was on a different grid.”
   The  phone rang again.  And again, Usagi knocked  on  the
door.   “Ruri?  Akito’s on the phone.  He wants to  talk  to
   “Akito!”  Yurika jumped up and ran for the door.   “Gimme
the  phone!  He doesn’t want to talk to Ruri;  he  wants  to
talk to me!”
   “Are  you sure?  After all the time he’s spent with  Ruri
   Ruri smiled, and picked up the phone.
   * * * * *
   Author’s Notes:
   For those not in the know, Hayashibara Megumi is the most
prolific  voice actress in Japan, having done  somewhere  in
the  neighborhood of seventy roles.  Among her  most  famous
roles are:
   Nuku Nuku        APCCG Nuku Nuku
   Kitty       Hello Kitty
   Faye Valentine   Cowboy Bebop
   Ayanami Rei      Neon Genesis Evangelion
   Pen Pen          Neon Genesis Evangelion
   Masaki Achika    Tenchi Muyo In Love
   Amano Ai         Video Girl Ai
   Saotome Ranma    Ranma 1/2
   As  far  as  we  can tell, she did not appear  in  Mobile
Battleship  Nadesico (though she had a bit  part  in  Sailor
   [Tail Kinker]  Step aside, Kitsy.  The co-author with the
120 wpm typing speed and built-in spellchecker is taking the
conn...the creative co-author must step aside...
   [Kitsy]  Yes, yes...creativity must take a back seat  for
this ‘fic...:)
   Comments  and Criticism can be sent to  or  Flames can be sent to Gainax.  We just
saw  the  last  episode  of  Neon Genesis  Evangelion.   Bad
ending.    Very   bad.    The  story   can   be   found   at and  at
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